Striving and failing in public

I tried the recommended approach of making a bold claim in public as a way to hold myself accountable, in an attempt to pressure myself into sticking with my goals (for example: I will post here once a week).

This strategy has not been hugely successful, as I clearly have not been posting every week. In fact, perhaps this public goal-setting experiment of mine has actually had a negative impact on how I feel about posting, as whatever I do I will never live up to that original goal. Once I had missed a few weeks, I felt like even posting regularly after that would just be different levels of failure. I suspect though that the only real way to fail is to give up and stop posting altogether.

Even though external sources of commitment may not always work as intended, they definitely can. I like the example from Steve Chandler in MindShift where he tells a group he is coaching that he will personally give them all $1000 if he has not lost 20 pounds by the next time he sees them (a few weeks later). In this case, multiple aspects motivated him to succeed. It was not just the money, although it would have been a significant amount to give away. The much stronger factor was him not wanting to show up to their next session and admit he failed, thereby losing face and implying he is weak, cannot commit, and is not in charge of his own life. I think the financial aspect was probably more useful for keeping the other participants interested in the goal than it was for helping Steve achieve it.

In stark contrast, my online accountability experiment was all too easily ignored and most likely soon forgotten by everyone but me.

When I think of failing it brings to mind the Chengdu Greenland Tower, supposed to be the tallest building in the city once complete. It is an enormous thing, unsurprisingly visible from vast swathes of the city but it remains unfinished a good many years after construction began, with no further visible progress in recent years. Currently, it exists as a concrete skeleton with a few stationary cranes on top. This is failing in a very public way, with few things more in the public eye than a giant unfinished skyscraper.

However, I recently found myself wondering why I have been ridiculing the tower project, and if that attitude actually serves me. Could it be related to a current habit I have noticed in myself of judging things negatively, or is my cynicism a way to hide some fear I might have related to ambition and daring, daring to believe that great things are possible?

Maybe that giant eyesore should be celebrated as evidence of someone going for their dream to build the tallest building in Chengdu. Whether the outcome was ultimately successful or not might not be the most important thing to focus on. Is it not the pursuit of something we desire often better than achieving the thing, and don’t we often hear the advice to try and be outcome independent?

I do still believe there is humour to be found in having a giant, unfinished tower visible from much of the city, reminding everyone involved with the project of its completion status whenever they are within eyeshot of the thing. Crucially though, ridiculing the tower project is unlikely to contribute to my own power to do ambitious things, to take risks, or as Brené Brown would say, to dare greatly.

I’m not sure why seeing someone else’s grand plan fail can be reassuring, but I suspect it provides one with a reason not to try, and thereby with an excuse to remain in your comfort zone.

Would it not be so much nicer instead to notice someone tried, someone had a bold goal and went for it, then see that as positive regardless of the outcome? Why not celebrate the person who got fourth at the Olympics and just missed the podium, seeing that they followed their dream, took a risk, and actually made it to the Olympics.

Would it not be so much better to encourage daring and bravery and the making of bold moves, rather than focusing on the instances when this did not end in success?

Either way, even failure does not necessarily mean it is time to stop trying. How many times did famous millionaires go bankrupt before they hit it big, or how many businesses did they start that failed before starting the one that made them famous?

I love the following Michael Jordan quote:

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

From now on then whenever I see the Chengdu Greenland Tower, I will see courage, I will see someone taking a risk and following their dream, and use it as a reminder to dream a little bigger myself.

All photos by the author.